


Insecurity Theater

by water_bby



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 07:37:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/877286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/water_bby/pseuds/water_bby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Mission Room staff wonders why a scroll needs a guard detail.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insecurity Theater

**Author's Note:**

> written for seijitsu for the Winter 2012 [kakairu fest](http://kakairu-fest.livejournal.com/)

The final day of the month was Iruka's least favorite day to work a shift in the Mission Room, especially as a supervisor. In addition to the usual routine, the supervisors had to check the list of missions assigned against the list of which clients had paid and which ninja had been paid, and then they had to prepare the notices for funds still due. At least with Kakashi away on a mission (he had been gone two weeks already), a late shift wouldn't cut into the time Iruka could spend with his lover.

Iruka arrived for his shift to discover that the increasingly-obvious guard detail had grown to double the number of a week earlier. He nodded politely at the handful of ninja who were standing around the hall and then passed the display cases that lined the walls. Most of them had been untouched for years save a semi-weekly dusting, but one a couple of spaces away from the doors to the Mission Room proper had been changed at the beginning of the month to a scroll with a faint green glow. The Mission Room staff assumed the scroll and the increased guard were related, but no one had a good explanation for why a scroll that required guards (including, some said, ANBU) would be on display in the first place.

Iruka sat behind the desk and began his shift. He hoped the day shift supervisors had been able to make it through most of the list, so he didn't have to stay even later than normal.

* * *

Once the Mission Room closed for the night, two of the staff were responsible for sorting all the paperwork into the baskets to be filed in the morning, or, for the most sensitive scrolls, into the high-security files, or into the box for the Hokage's review. As had happened every night since the green scroll had been placed on display, the clean-up staff shut and locked the doors while the guards increased their patrols in the corridors.

Tonight, however, extra nin are in the building. The larger of the pair waits silently while his smaller companion focuses on where the guards currently are and where they are going next. At a quick nod, the larger creeps around the corner, making for the display case in the shadows as quickly as he can. Once there, he scales the neighboring case and then leans into his target, grabbing the scroll with one hand while maintaining his balance with the other. When he removes the scroll, he levers himself back on to the floor.

As he moves back down the hall, he hears the sound of the Mission Room locks disengaging. He takes several quick steps, flattening himself against the wall behind the already partially-opened door, holding his breath while the staff looks quickly around the corridor.

When the Mission Room staff return to their tasks, re-locking the door behind them, the thief returns to his position hovering over the display case and removes the scroll he has been hiding from his sleeve. When he lowers this scroll into place, it smells briefly of ozone and picks up the distinctive green glow that marked the previous occupant of the case.

Not five minutes later, he and his companion are slipping out of the window they'd used for entrance, their lookout falling into step behind them. When the guards glance into the room, there is nothing to indicate that window was ever opened. Meanwhile the stolen scroll, now wrapped in a disguising tag, is pressed into a dark corner of the box for the Hokage.

* * *

The knocking on Iruka's door woke him abruptly. He took a deep breath to calm himself and went to answer the door. None of his friends would be coming to his apartment this early, except for Kakashi, and Kakashi wasn't due back in the village for another several days and would have come to the window if he did arrive while Iruka was sleeping. So this was an emergency of some sort.

When Iruka opened the door, he was prepared for anything from a warning that his apartment building was on fire to a call to arms. He was not prepared to be arrested and marched to the T&I complex. He was also not prepared to see the rest of the previous night's Mission Room staff also being escorted to interrogation cells. He caught the eye of the genin who had been helping out the previous evening and smiled encouragingly. The boy shakily nodded back.

While an ANBU stood guard at the cell door and the T&I officer chained him to the chair, Iruka drew another deep, calming breath and silently repeated his basic "what to do if you are interrogated" lecture to himself.

"Did you steal the green scroll tonight?"

"No." The scroll with its odd green glow had still been in the display case when Iruka had, finally, left. But he wasn't going to answer any question that hadn't been asked.

"Do you know who did?"

"No."

"Do you know who put the red scroll in the case?"

"No."

Iruka wondered whether he'd make it to the Academy for the beginning of school.

* * *

A week after being awakened by T&I, Iruka jolted awake at the soft knock on his window. Kakashi waved at him, unabashed by arriving at such a late hour.

Iruka glared at his lover as he opened the window.

"Is this all the welcome I get?" Kakashi winked. "I hear that someone swapped a red scroll for the green one right under the guards' noses and then planted the green one in the Hokage's office. Ibiki-san asked me if I wanted to help figure out who was responsible."

Iruka smiled ruefully. "And did you agree?"

"I may have agreed to a meeting at the Hokage's office first thing tomorrow morning." Kakashi kissed Iruka swiftly. "So, are you going to reward my valor?"

Iruka laughed. "I think I'm the one that deserves a reward; you weren't the one being questioned by rookie T&I officers."

"Hmmm. I suppose I can live with rewarding your valor."

* * *

Gai and Anko nodded at Iruka as they passed him on the their way to Kakashi's apartment to discuss the mission the three of them would be leaving for in a week and weren't expected back from for upwards of a month. It was an unusually long prep time, considering the length of the mission, but they planned to enjoy the extra time before leaving Konoha.

It was rather a shock when, after Kakashi had cast the expected soundproofing jutsu, they found Iruka pouring tea at the kotatsu.

"Kakashi," Gai started.

"Gai-sensei, Anko-san, please forgive the deception." Iruka smiled at them. "Kakashi-san tells me that you'll understand the need for secrecy."

The jounin looked between Iruka and Kakashi, and then Anko sat down across from Iruka.

Iruka smiled, pushing a tea cup towards her, and then looked at Gai. "I have need of help. Kakashi-san agrees that you are my best option."

Gai collapsed by Anko. "What are we doing?"

Anko grinned. "Yeah, Iruka, what are we doing?"

Iruka grinned back at her. "We are playing the best prank in Konoha in years."

* * *

The Hokage, Ibiki, and the ANBU captain were waiting in the Hokage's office when Kakashi, Iruka, Gai, and Anko arrived the following morning.

"Ahh, Iruka-san," the Hokage asked, one eyebrow raised in surprise, "did you have a question?"

"No, Hokage-sama." Iruka bowed to her and then looked at Ibiki. "Ibiki-san, I fear your people asked the wrong questions because they made false assumptions."

The older man stiffened slightly. "And what were they mistaken about?"

Iruka recognized the three jounin who had accompanied him were standing around him in a classic formation for a four-nin team making a report and relaxed.

"They assumed that the scroll was stolen the night it disappeared from the case, and therefore only asked about that night."

Iruka met his Hokage's eyes as she blinked and then laughed, "Damn, I thought it couldn't be you because Kakashi was away! Shizune, get the saki; this is going to take some time!"

* * *

Two days after the glowing green scroll was put on display, every senior member of the Mission Room staff was called into the Hokage's office and told to pull a folded piece of paper from the large bowl that Shizune carried about the room.

"Now," the Hokage said, "look at your paper, and then destroy it when the chime sounds."

Iruka opened his, then held himself still until the chime sounded before setting the tiny slip on fire. He didn't know what was going on, but he did know that he had to pretend there had been no instructions on his paper.

He had been given a mission in the village. He was to steal a particular scroll from its very public display case just outside the Mission Room doors by the end of the month. Without getting caught.

When Iruka's shift finally ended, he headed home at his usual pace. If part of the mission was not getting caught, and it had been randomly assigned, then he could not draw attention to himself by deviating from his usual patterns. So he stopped to pick up fresh vegetables for his dinner, looked at the bottles of wine before passing by, and then went straight home.

Kakashi arrived via the back window a mere hour later, just as Iruka was putting the finishing touches on dinner for two.

"What's wrong, sensei?" Kakashi asked as he moved to set the table.

Iruka shook his head. "Later." He was allowed to recruit as many helpers as he needed, but he wanted to enjoy some time with Kakashi before they had to turn their attention to work.

"Iruka," Kakashi whispered, "you look like you're planning mischief."

Iruka laughed, and Kakashi laughed with him.

"Definitely, Kakashi-san. Definitely. But after supper."

By the time Iruka and Kakashi retreated to the bedroom, no listening nin would be surprised by the soundproofing jutsu. There were some activities polite people did not inflict on their peers, and while Kakashi might not have a reputation for politeness, Iruka did.

"Iruka, what's wrong?" Kakashi asked as soon as he'd cast the jutsu.

"I have until the end of the month to steal the green scroll outside the Mission Room doors." Iruka looked at his lover. "It's a test, isn't it, of the guards or the security of the building or both?"

"And of Ibiki's new T&I staff. I'm surprised the Hokage involved a chuunin, though."

Iruka laughed. "The entire senior staff were called in and made to draw lots. I think she wanted make sure no one knew who was given the mission."

"So who's going to be on your team?" Kakashi asked while he dragged Iruka down to the mattress. "And when are you planning to steal the thing?"

Iruka lay back on his bed. "I thought you, Gai-sensei, and Anko-san. They don't really expect the theft to happen until closer to the end of the month, and if the three of you steal it, it will need to be in the next week."

"It will also be obvious that you are the most likely person to have recruited us."

Iruka rolled up to sit on the bed. "Not if you can copy the jutsu on the scroll. Then we put in a substitute rigged to disappear or change color or something on the first of next month and they won't know it was stolen before you left."

Kakashi smirked up at him. "What about the original, O master prankster? Any ideas for that?"

"I thought it should show up on the first in the Hokage's daily paperwork."

Kakashi laughed loudly, "Come here, Iruka. We can finish planning later." And he pulled his equally laughing partner down for a kiss.


End file.
